blah

So I've been missing for a while. I've been on the diet but had a few bobbles.

Current weight- 251.4
Current points- 32
Current day- 86

I need to not give in even when I feel like I want to. I can do this.

31/32 points

Chicken nugget salad - 9
Soup - 3
2 slices bread and margarine - 4
Orange Sherbet - 2
Pizza bagels - 4
Chicken - 4
Veggies - 0
Stuffing - 4
Yogurt - 1

Day 51

Starting Points - 32 daily + 24 weekly

So Wed I ran around and spent time with my mom. My mom is handicapped and I do all of the work for her. I shop for her and take her to her Dr. Appointments. Sometimes I forget that it's fun to spend time with her because almost all the interaction I had with her is taking care of her. I'm really sad that I lost sight of that. Well Wed I actually got to spend time with her, We had dinner (she had chinese and I had a low point sub from subway!) We watched my life in ruins which was much better than I was expecting. I made some Halloween cards and we talked a lot. It was a really good night and I want to make sure to repeat it.

Super sexy sandwhich made by my husband - 6
1/2 cup Apple Cider - 1
6" Oven roasted chicken sub - 6
6" Oven roasted chicken sub - 6
Barbie Cup - 6
Corn - 6
27/32 points

A leave of absence

I know I stopped posting. I'm mad at myself for it actually. Since I stopped posting on Blogger I've done so much worse. I've continued to lose but less than a pound a week. Since I've stopped showing people I didn't have to be as good. Well that stops. I'm going to post and I'm going to share my ups and downs because that helps me to stay on track and I want this. So I'm back baby!

Over the Top Award

MissyM gave this to me. If you feel like you deserve it then take it ^_^ but you have to fill the thingie out.

1. Where is your cell phone? love seat

2. Your hair? long

3. Your mother? loving

4. Your father? absent-minded

5. Your favorite food? Pizza

6. Your dream last night? weird

7. Your favorite drink? Soda

8. Your dream/goal? happiness

9. What room are you in? Living Room

10. Your hobby? reading

11. Your fear? Death

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? house

13. Where were you last night? home

14. Something that you aren’t? Skinny

15. Muffins? sure

16. Wish list item? sheets

17. Where did you grow up? Baltimore

18. Last thing you did? updated

19. What are you wearing? jeans

20. Your TV? Copped

21. Your pets? 5

22. Friends? Support

23. Your life? Flux

24. Your mood? Content

25. Missing someone? yes

26. Vehicle? Husband's

27.Something you’re not wearing? socks

28. Your favorite store? Torrid

29. Your favorite color? Red

30. When was the last time you laughed? today

31. Last time you cried? Dunno

32. Your best friend? Ruby

33. One place that I go to over and over? Mom's

34. One person who emails me regularly? Tim

35. Favorite place to eat? Scittinos

Day 35

Starting Points - 32 daily + 35 weekly

Monday was an interesting day. I woke up super early at 9 am (we are a second shift house hold) for a meeting and the person didn't show. The meeting was at Denny's. I got a horrible sandwich worth 33 points, but I only at a 1/4 of the sandwich. Then I went for lunch at Chili's with Ruby and a middle school friend, Jenny with her 18 month old.

Then Ruby and I took her cousin to Walmart. We hit the bathroom, and while I was waiting for her the female security guard came in with a male cop. The cop knocked on a stall door which swung open. The cop said "What are you doing in here?" They pulled a black man off the john (pants up thankfully) and they started yelling "where is it?" They reached in and said "watch out there's an open blade" at that moment I stepped into the handicap stall and told Ruby that perhaps she shouldn't come out. She asked "is it that bad?" I said, "yes" Apparently the man was shooting up in the Ladies room. The security guards told us that we could leave. They had the guy against the stall. I saw the knife in one of their hands and a needle and drugs on the counter. When we left I was really shaken. I wanted to just get out. By the time we left Walmart I wanted to eat anything fatty. I wanted pizza and subs and chicken nuggets and fries. I always react in the extreme in situations like this. Stuff involving cops or loud voices or sudden movement. It's a problem that I have from when I was working at the harbor and a friend who owned the store next door was attacked by her husband. My heart starts to race and I can't calm down. But I didn't give in. I didn't binge to settle my nerves. I even ended short on my points.

1/4 grand slamwich - 8
Hashbrowns - 5
Hotchocolate w/ whipped cream - 2
Veggies - 1
Grilled Chicken Sandwich - 7
Angel food cake - 1
rice cakes - 2
Pear - 1
27/32

Day 34

Starting Points - 32 daily + 35 weekly

Sunday was shlump around the house day. mmmm Shlumping. Ruby cooked and we were supposed to play left 4 dead but she was so busy I ended up playing with Josh. We cannot make it past the end of the first stage. Very frustrating. I wasn't super bad or super good yesterday. I was just shlumpy. ^_^

Lite Smoke Sausage - 2
Egg with cheese - 3
Lemon Cake - 6
Rice Snacks - 2
Chicken Nuggets - 5
Naan - 3
1/2 serv Chicken Tikka Masala - 4
Lite Smoke Sausage - 2
Ice Cream Sandwich - 3
30/32

Day 33

So yesterday I had a party at the Renfest after it closed. I went in early with the lovely Ashley as my assistant. I had a lot of fun. Ashley ordered a corset. I bought an early birthday present for my husband. Ashley got herself a beautiful leather bound book and a date. She is nervous though. She's a doll. The party went ok till some roudy drunken people showed up. It wasn't a huge problem but it did make them hard to control. Some ladies left early and I had to pause the party to take care of them but Ashley was fantastic and did a "Care and feeding of your toys" segment for me. But cause we were running around food choices weren't the super best.

Chicken Sandwich - 9
1/2 Huntsman Baked potato - 10
Chicken Sandwich - 9
Med FF - 8
36/32 = 4 weekly points used

Total weekly points used this week 16/35

Day 32

Starting Points 32 daily + 29 weekly

So my Ruby's brother got a job at a new Chili's. Friday they were doing a training day and we got an invitation. There were 4 limited menus and only one person could order off of each. Now I got the one covered in chicken fingers. I resisted the siren song of breaded chicken and went for not the guiltless chicken but a happy medium of their Monteray Chicken. OMG so nummy! I ate half and saved half for my hubs. It came with super awesome mashed potatoes and steamed veggies. The veggies did have butter though. We also had salsa and chips and had to split a trio of dessert shots. I did well for me.

Chili's -22
Dessert -2
Chips - 6
Monteray Chicken - 10
Mashed Potatoes - 3
Veggies - 1
Chocolate - 1
Rice Snacks - 2
Pizza Tortilla - 5
Smoke Sausage - 5
Pumpkin Spice Cake - 5
40/32 = 8 weekly points spent

Day 31

Starting Points - 32 daily + 29 weekly

Ashley has made this awesome awesome pumpkin spice cake. Only 5 points for a huge slice. It was so nummy. Yesterday was a day of frustration for me. My mother was in a very bad car accident about 15 years ago. I've always had a hard time with it. I was very small and my mom worked nights. I was only about 10 years old and before she left we got in a fight and I told my mom "I hate you!" I woke up in the middle of the night to my mom's best friend there and my dad was gone. She had been in a car accident. I remember crying and crying thinking that it was my fault that my mom was hurt.

Anyway I now take care of my mom. (My parents got divorced in the intervening years.) So I was running around for her yesterday and I dealt with the most pointless ATT store ever created ever. Seriousy they don't take cash. They don't know anything. They couldn't tell me that you can only upgraded phones online now. They didn't know. They sent me to another store all the way out in Columbia. Good thing I called first! Then I had to switch the info on my mom's old phone to her new one and activate the new one. The woman told me they didn't have any of the computer programs that were needed. When I got to the Columbia store the guy showed me paperwork I had in the box (That my mom didn't tell me about and I didn't notice) that told you how to do it. No computers, no anything but switching sim cards! I do admit I felt kinda stupid but they told me that it was understandable I missed it since it wasn't my phone.
To activate it it was a simple phone call.

Just grrrrr grrrrr stomp stomp.

34 points = 32 daily + 2 weekly
Salad with nuggets - 10
Chicken Sandwich - 9
Lemon Bar - 1
Pumpkin Spice cake - 5
Southwest Ziti - 9

Day 30

Starting Points - 32 daily +29 weekly

Today was bumming around the house day. And by that I mean I did a whole bunch of work from home stuff and helped ruby's cousin rearrange the entire living room. Yeah... lounging.

Ruby took some before and after pics of me so you all can glory in my fatness. mhm.

30 points used = 3 daily left over

Salad with nuggets - 6
Beef and Potato Casserole - 6
Sour Cream - 2
Rice Cakes - 2
Chicken Chow mein - 3
Rice Cakes - 2
Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream Sandwich - 2
Chicken Nuggets - 6
Lemon Cake - 1

Day 29

Starting points - 32 daily + 29 weekly

I went to a Sushi Buffet for breakfast/lunch with friends. It was a lot of fun and very nummy. After which I went home and just relaxed some.

Then I had an appointment to meet the angry woman at a meetup group that we normally go to. She didn't show. The meetup was even at a pizza place. Which as we all know is the devil. And as G said it has pepperoni for eyes. Then I ended up coughing so much and so hard that I threw up. I'm so all with this being sick thing k?

31 points used
Sushi Buffet - 16
Veggie chips - 2
Pizza - 9
Ice Cream Sandwich - 3

Day 28

Starting Points - 32 daily + 29 Weekly

Monday I went back to the gym but I'm still not really over being sick so my chest felt like it had gone all cold and was going to burst. So I stopped. I haven't been back yet. Blargh. That and I got personally attacked in a business email. I do Slumber Parties which is a lotion and lingerie and adult novelties in home party system. Part of the company policy is no men at the parties. Part of this is business and part of this is legal but regardless that's the rules. So I reminded a woman who wanted to have a party that no men should be present and then she jumped down my throat.

"You SHOULD keep in mind, we are talking GSLBT guys, and GSLBT gals . . .

We are not as sexually inhibited as your everyday slumber party participants."

I mean seriously? Where did that come from? So in the end I was too upset to eat all my points. Well I suppose that it's better than over eating and binging but still not good.

21 points = 33 daily - 21 eaten = 12 left over points
Chicken Nuggets - 6
1/2 Ranch - 1
Lunch - 11
Ice cream sandwiches - 3

Day 27

Starting Points - 32 daily + 35 weekly

Today was the weigh in... dum dum dum. I lost 4.8 pounds bringing me down to 258.2! I'm super excited.

Ok so I have a problem. It's a food problem. I'm pretty sure that some of you might be able to guess it's a pizza problem. A friend of ours invited us out for breakfast/lunch and suggested Cici's the all you can eat pizza buffet. Josh told him that perhaps on our current diet it wasn't a good idea.

So we went some where else with him. In the afternoon we had game plans with a new role playing group (see I told you I was a super geek!) I was nervous but had a lot of fun. In the end we all ended up at Cici's. I didn't do anywhere nearly as bad as I was afraid of. I had 6 small slices over the course of an hour. I know that sounds bad but in a normal day it woul be 6 slices per plate stacked high on the plate literally one on top of another. It's a bad bad thing for me. I made sure I put only one piece on the plate at a time. I ate a salad with light ranch first. I tried really hard. I only tipped into my weekly points a little. It's a small victory but for me a victory.

38 points = 32 daily + 35 weekly
Waffle - 9
Pizza - 20
Cinnamon Roll - 3
Salad - 3
3 teas with honey - 3

Day 26

Starting Points - 33 daily + 20 weekly

Saturday was a hard day for me. I went out to the renaissance festival and realized just how much I missed it. Let me give some background. My father is one of three original vendors left from the first year of fair. I was literally out there in utero. There isn't a year of my life I haven't been out there. I can't actually say when I started working out there because I've just always been there. Well my father is getting up in age and my brother isn't interested. It's just been a matter of course that I'll take over the family business. Well things have changed for me. I got married two years ago. That changes stuff. Well so before I dedicate the rest of my life to something I decided I wanted a chance to see what life was like outside of faire. I still haven't made a descision. bah.

43 points = 33 daily + 10 weekly
1/2 chicken sandwich - 6
Pizza - 20
Chicken Sandwich - 9
French Fries - 2

Day 25

Starting Points - 33 daily + 31 weekly

Ok so I was off in the world. Friday was run around run around run around day for me. And now I'm gonna let my geek flag fly a bit... My husband ran exalted (the table top role playing game) and we haven't run for a bit. My sexy sexy husband made chiles rellenos casserole at 5 points a serving.

44 points = 33 daily + 11 weekly
Soup - 8
Pizza - 15
Flatbread sandwich - 9
Edamame - 1
Chiles Rellenos - 5
Light Sour Cream - 2
Rice snacks - 2

Day 24

I was ok today. There was lots of running around. In the evening I went to the Dog party. It's a once a year after hours weekday white elephant party at fair. It was potluck. I did pretty well despite this. Actually I ended up under my points still.

28 points
Soup - 1
Chicken Sandwich w/ lite mayo - 9
Edamame - 1
Lemon Crunch Cake - 6
3 meatballs - 3
Hummus - 1
Feta Cheese - 1
Naan - 2
Melba toast - 2
Fruit Juice - 2

Day 23

Well Ruby cooked dinner again last night because I felt like poo still. My husband has finally caught the plague as well. He stayed home from work as well. I told him to take a day to rest as opposed to working his plague into full thrown bleh. For a little FYI about me, I lovelovelove Halloween. I am a direct sales consultant for an adult romance company called Slumber Parties, I have 5 cats and I grew up at the MD ren fest. Why are these important? Because I'm going to list some non scale goals!

*I want to have room on my bed for my cats, my husband and me
*I want to be able to dress up as a fantastic Jessica Rabbit
*I want to go to an amusement park and not stress and fear about getting on rides and OMG will I fit?
*I want to be able to buy whatever halloween costume I want. Not just something that comes in size super fat
* I want to wake up without feeling like my back is trying to murder me
*I want to be able to demo the swing that my company sells. (400 lbs without spring 200 lbs with spring)
*I want to put on my favorite jeans and be slightly sad because I will never be able to wear them again
*I want to be able to walk into a normal clothes store and buy something other than jewelry and socks

yeah so those are just some of them

I tried very hard to get all my points in because I haven't been eating as much while sick, so I went a bit fatty.
37 Points = 33 daily + 4 weekly
2 slices pizza - 13
2 tea with honey - 2
Reese cup - 4
Orange juice - 4
Rice snacks - 2
3 tacos - 10
Broccoli Salad - 2

Day 22

Still sick. Blurgh blurgh blurgh.

28 points = -5points
pita pizza - 4
1/2 gnocchi - 4
rice snax - 2
yogurt - 1
Chicken Sandwich - 9
Med FF - 8

Upset stomachs - 1

Day 21

Still sick. Blurgh. I hate when you swallow and your ears feel like gonna pop painfully off your head.
**Edited**
Tea w/ splenda - 0
2 toast w/ margarine - 3
soup - 1
English Muffin w/m - 3
triscuits -2
rice snacks -2
soup - 1
triscuits - 2
1/2 smoothie -2
rice snacks -2
1/2 gnocchi - 4

total - 22 points

Day 20

I weighed in and I lost 1.4 pounds which puts me at an even 262. My husband lost 9 pounds. I'm so proud of him! He mock complains though because "every week I lose a point of food!" You can really tell. I know that he's doing this to help me but I think he's proud of himself too. I went to the gym with Ashley. Then I went to torrid for panty shopping Ashley, Alex and Ruby. Ashley bought me a skirt in trade for some video games. As we walked though the mall I got a migraine. Then I got sick when we got home. I asked Ruby if I lost points cause I threw up.


33 daily - 20 points = 13 left over
Smoothie - 3
Salad - 4
Mac & Cheese & Chicken - 13

Day 19

So after I vowed to be on track things got a little difficult. Josh and I went to help some friend's move (nothing was boxed up. nothing.) So they brought us Ledo's pizza. What I just had this huge struggle over yesterday and I was starving. I was good. I had three pieces at 3 points a piece. I'm proud of myself from walking away instead of falling on it in a ravenous orgy of sauce and cheese. I was tempted. But I walked away.

I wanted to get to the gym but it closed at 7 on the weekends. Tomorrow.

33 points = 33 daily + 0 weekly
Soup - 1
English Muffin w/m - 3
Breakfast wrap - 4
turkey pepperoni - 1
pizza - 11
salad - 4
soup - 1
pineapple chicken - 4
apple cider - 2
Triscuits - 2

Ok here's the dealy'o

I am going to try not eat out anymore. It is BAD for me. I had 35 points of pizza. With my other food I was at 46 points with no weekday points. However with my exercise boost points I am back down to my max off 33 daily. I will do better!!!!!!

I went to the gym today. Two days in a row. I went with Ashley. We did a total of an hour and a half today. 20 min on bike then about 50 min on various weight machines and then 20 min on the treadmill. The tread mill is a fantastic way to end.

Oh and trust me, my weekly points are gone.

1/2 chicken wrap - 5
French Fries - 6
Pizza - 35
Soup - 0
Exercise points - -13
=33 daily

To my two followers:

Life has gone ka-boom. I promise I will update soon.

Day 13

Sunday... was a bad day. A long drive. My friend's grandfather who was kinda like another grandparent to me passed away. I found out while I was driving. I tried to stay ok but I totally lost it. I didn't go over my weekly points.

52 points = 33 daily + 19 weekly

Goldfish - 3
Reese Mix - 2
3 Biscuits - 11
White Gravy - 1
Strawberry jam - 2
Hashbrown Casserole - 4
Chicken Ranch Gordita - 7
1 Crunchy Cereal Bar - 1
2 Sausage Patties - 2
5 Rice Snacks - 10

Day 12

Saturday... Another busy day of classes. I did take some breaks though I had milk and pizza. I skipped out early on the special speaker and got in line for the extra lingerie buying. I'm excited because hopefully I'll be able to fit in some of it soon ^_^.

33 daily + 8 weekly
Crunchy Cereal Bar - 1
2 servings of 2% milk - 7
3/4 Personal Pan Pizza - 7
Goldfish - 3
Crunchy Cereal Bar - 1
Broccoli - 0
Parmesan Chicken stuffed w/Artichokes and Spinach - 3

Day 11

Friday.... I woke up and ate a soft cereal bar and went to opening ceremonies. It was fun. I've met lots more new people (I can't keep them straight without putting notes on their business cards) I did a lot of classes. One woman named Joni Duncan was particularly excellent. Tired though. I ate at an amazing but cheap Italian restaurant named Demos. My room mate had an amazing 8 oz steak for 8 bucks. She kept saying that at Mortons(?) she would have paid at least $25 and said thank you.

36 points = 33 daily + 3 weekly
Soft Cereal Bar - 1
Gold Fish - 3
Chips Deluxe - 3
Quiznos Mesquite Chicken on Rosemary Bread - 11
Banana Chips - 4
Cheez-its - 3
Chicken and Rice Soup - 3
Grilled Chicken Sandwich - 8
Broccoli - 0

Day 10

I didn't really sleep between Wed. and Thurs. I tried. It didn't really work. I checked into my hotel room early. I checked into the convention. I tried to sleep. I realized I didn't pack any work out appropriate pants (bah!) I ate Lunch at a place called Jacks BBQ. It was surprisingly good. I had a beef brisket sandwich with a side of green beans and a diet coke. Then I saw some sights with people and went on a trolley tour (on a bus because it was raining off and on.) For dinner I went with Shannon (the girl I rode with) to a nice little Italian/Mexican place. I got a spinach tortilla wrap and a cup of soup for dessert I had fruit. I was drained but all in all it was a great day. I met lots of new fun Slumber Sisters.

33 Daily - 10 points = 23 Points spent (I was busy but I should have eaten more)
Crunchy Cereal bar - 1
Green Beans - 0
Beef Brisket Sandwich - 13
Cream of Broccoli soup - 3
Grilled Chicken Spinach Tortilla Wrap - 5
Asst Fruit - 1

Day 9

Used 35 points... 33 daily and 2 weekly leaving me at 27 for the week. (I think... my journal is at home) I left last night at 11 for Nashville. I could barely get any sleep in the car. The candied ginger did wonders for me. I also think that perhaps I didn't get as carsick as I usually do because I was in a truck and higher up. I will post a full list of yesterday's food at some point.

When it's 5 am and you are driving a truck for the first time and you are cycling through the same country music cd and everyone else is asleep right before you hit the rumble strip you begin to wonder... "Can I do this? Will i be able to keep it up in a different city? Especially when I'm nervous?" Then you hit that rumble strip and think... "Oh Crap! Time to switch drivers!"

Day 8

Dinner is almost ready. I think I've been pretty good. Counting dinner I'm at 35. Ruby is making mexican meatloaf and home made mac and cheese. I think I was pretty good. Josh had a bad day. His raise at work didn't go through. He was good though and didn't binge when he was upset. I'm really proud of him. It also is inspirational for me, seeing him not reach out to food when he's upset. It's what he usually does and it's what I usually do. We're going to walk the track in a little bit. I'm leaving for Nashville tomorrow night. I'm gonna stay on track while I'm gone though. If I have wireless while I'm gone I'll post. If not I'll post when I get back.

Food Today

Pumpkin Risotto - 9
2 servings 2% Milk - 7
Banana - 2
Veggie Soup - 0
English Muffin w/margarine - 3
Choc Pudding - 2
Choc Cookies - 2
Veggie Soup -0
Meatloaf - 3
Mac and Cheese - 7
Mixed Veggies - 0

35 = 33d +2w

A wide shot...

Here is a picture of me when I got married two years ago. I don't know what I weighed. I just know that I was happy and I love my husband and I even loved my dress. I hated the fat rolls spilling out of the back of my dress. Honestly it makes me want to cry.

Prelude to Day 8

Beginning Points - 33 Daily Points + 29 Extra Points

I just want to start with the fact that I went to the Renaissance Festival this weekend. The fact that I have any extra points left is amazing. My first couple days I had problems hitting my points.

Day 1 - 21
Day 2 - 23
Day 3 - 33 + 2 extra = 35
Day 4 - 33 + 1 extra = 34
Day 5 - 33 + 8 extra = 41
Day 6 (Sunday: Points reset and we weigh in) - 33 + 5 extra = 38
Day 7 - 33 + 1 extra = 34

So now the world is caught up with my rolls. I didn't weigh myself when I started but I knew about how much I weighed from my doctor. I would like to use less to none of my extra points. Also I started walking the track at night again with Scarlett and Rayne. We've done it twice. I've done 3/4 of a mile both times. The first time I felt like I might have been able to do a whole mile but last night my back was killing me by the middle of lap 2 (1/4 mile track). I'm actually amazed I did a third lap. Go me!

A Journey Into Fat Reduction Begins With a Single Meatball

I've started Weight Watchers. I can't afford to go to the meetings but I am following the system. I have a bad back and bad knees and sleep apnea. My weight makes all of this worse. I currently weigh 266 pounds. I started on September 8th. My wonderful wonderful husband is doing it with me. My wonderful friends are doing it with me too. They are my support system so I stay focused and on the right path. Here's to a thinner me!